Transgenerational Trauma: The Past We Carry Within Us

Transgenerational trauma, sometimes called intergenerational trauma, refers to the way unresolved pain, losses, and emotional wounds are unconsciously passed down from one generation to the next. What is left unspoken in one generation is often lived out in the next. This process is deeply rooted in the unconscious, shaping patterns of attachment, identity, and belonging.

Dr. Gabor Maté, physician and author, describes trauma not as the event itself, but as “the wound that the event leaves within us.” Trauma, he explains, is carried not only in memory but also in the body, shaping how we respond to stress, how we form relationships, and how we view ourselves in the world. (When the Body Says No, 2003). When these wounds remain unprocessed, they are often transmitted silently across generations, through both relational dynamics and emotional inheritance.

How Trauma Travels Through Generations

Psychodynamic theory highlights the role of the unconscious in transmitting unresolved conflicts, anxieties, and defences. Parents may unconsciously project their own unmet needs or unresolved grief onto their children, who in turn internalise these dynamics as part of their developing identity. Children may grow up carrying emotions that are not their own, yet feel deeply familiar.

Maté echoes this when he writes that “children absorb not only their parents’ visible behaviours but also their unspoken emotional realities” (The Myth of Normal, 2022). A parent who has survived displacement, war, or loss may not speak of their experiences, but the atmosphere of fear, vigilance, or grief can be carried into family life. In this way, trauma that has never been narrated can nonetheless be felt and embodied by future generations.

The Therapeutic Lens

Transgenerational trauma emerges in the therapeutic space in subtle ways. Clients may struggle with feelings of alienation, a lack of belonging, or a burden of guilt and shame that seems to have no clear origin. These unconscious legacies often manifest as patterns in relationships: difficulty with intimacy, fear of abandonment, or an underlying sense of threat.

Therapy provides a space where these hidden transmissions can be named, explored, and understood. By recognising the “ghosts in the nursery” (Fraiberg, 1975) the unresolved experiences of previous generations, clients can begin to disentangle their own identity from what has been unconsciously handed down.

Towards Healing and Integration

Healing transgenerational trauma does not mean erasing the past, but rather bringing what has been hidden into awareness. As Maté notes, “the possibility of healing comes not from forgetting the past but from reclaiming it with compassion.” By acknowledging the impact of what came before, individuals can move from repetition to choice.

In therapy, this work involves gently uncovering the threads of family history, understanding how past wounds continue to shape present life, and developing new ways of relating. For many clients, this process is profoundly liberating: it allows them to honour their history without being defined by it, and to create a future that is not bound to repeat old patterns.